Adapted from: Wrestling Through Adversity

Since the month of May is dedicated to acknowledging the vital role small businesses play in the US economy and in our lives, I think it apropos to share my personal lived experience  of becoming an entrepreneur with those of you who are considering a small business startup. Today, business pundits say that there is no better time because of Internet access, AI, and virtual means to market and promote your new business venture.

Perhaps you’ve always dreamed of turning your passions into something bigger, like I did, and you are ready to stop working for someone else and build something of your own, based on your own knowledge and experience to make an impact on the world.

For sure, there is a lot to think about and implement to start a business. Some people will encourage you, and others will not. The “what ifs” can be intimidating. However, instead of getting stuck, let’s talk about what to consider before starting your own business, so you can have the self-confidence to do so. This information upfront is important to know because there is a high failure rate of small businesses within a few years of opening, just like in marriage if you don’t set it up well and do not manage it to make it work.

What are the things to consider before the big step?

At Indeed.com, you can get this advice and more:

• Need. Ask what needs your business will fill. It might be a problem you can solve or a process that your product can improve or a service that your community needs.
• Uniqueness. Consider what your business can do that no other business does. Ask: What sets me apart from others?
• Identity. Consider what makes you the best person to start this business. Ask: What am I bringing to the project? Do I have formal education or years of experience doing similar work? What will be my brand?
• Business structure. Do I want to work alone or with partners?
• Market. Consider what geographic range you can cover and what kind of people might have the need for your business answers. Plan a target audience. Ask: Who will be my potential customer? Who will be my competitor?
• Startup costs. Consider the money you’ll need for the startup, including equipment, rental or home office expenses, web hosting, marketing, funding, etc.

Reflections on my past

As I reflect back on my life when I started my small business in 1996, I realize now that I checked all the boxes above and more that business organizations like Indeed suggested. However, I faced many challenges that I did not think would occur because I am a woman, an RN, a Catholic, and a peak performance coach who uses the therapeutic modality of hypnosis in what some coaches called a “man’s world.” Permit me to explain what I mean.   

When I started out at that moment in my life, I was ripe for a new adventure. For years, I took the luxury of being a stay-at-home mom and homemaker, but there were many sacrifices and frustrations I endured as an independent woman while living on one “bread winner’s” income. For example, I recall applying for a supermarket discount card and being rejected without my husband’s signature as well as being asked by a dental assistant how I intended to pay my bill if I did not work outside the home.

I enjoyed being the primary caregiver of my four children, but I knew my psyche needed more, so, as an adult, I studied  dance, violin, and piano—which later came in handy when working professionally as a coach with performing artists. I already had a BS in nursing, but I returned to school to earn a master’s in public administration (MPA). During this time, I  took subjects on economics and finance, and the local park became my study space where I wrote my thesis on a picnic table, while watching my children play. Mothers seated nearby asked me, “Why do you bring a library to the park?”

After graduation with honors, I could not find a job as a nurse administrator because I was deemed overqualified and was too underpaid to afford childcare. A friend introduced me to studying hypnotism and meditation, which I agreed to since I used them in my daily practice. I saw applicability to my work as a mental health nurse and earned certifications in working with sports and young people. My teens were athletes and had challenges in sports, in school, and in life. There were no professionals to help them use the power of their minds, so I decided to open up shop to show them and others how to do it to succeed.

One day on my way home from dropping my girls off at gym practice, I purchased a recliner from the back of an 18-wheeler furniture truck from NC that was parked in a vacant gas station. I stuffed it in the back of my station wagon, dragged it into my home, and hung my diplomas above it. When my children came home, they were surprised that our family room was now temporarily my office and that their mom turned into a  verified “Hypno-Coach.”

Do Kids Come With Instruction Manuals For Parents?

One day on my way home from dropping my girls off at gym practice, I purchased a recliner from the back of an 18-wheeler furniture truck from NC that was parked in a vacant gas station. I stuffed it in the back of my station wagon, dragged it into my home, and hung my diplomas above it. When my children came home, they were surprised that our family room was now temporarily my office and that their mom turned into a  verified “Hypno-Coach.”

Obstacles abound

I faced many obstacles with my start up. My budget was tight, so I cashed in my life insurance policy, small IRA, meager savings, and listed our family income as collateral. I faced the town board members for my certificate of occupancy (COO) to rent an office. To qualify, I told them that I was an RN, peak performance coach, and hypnotherapist. One unaware male board  member responded by asking me if I was a “tea-leaf reader” or psychic like the ones they had just thrown out of town. I was not sure at first what he was implying, but I was in jeopardy of losing my rental deposit. Thank goodness an MD supported me, by saying to him, “Haven’t you ever heard of coaches who help Olympians win?” That shut him up, but my challenges escalated far beyond what I could ever imagine.

Myths and adversities that could hinder progress

There were many myths and adversities listed below that I faced as a hypnosis expert, and I had to wrestle through them, even though Pope Pius XII sanctioned the use of hypnosis in 1956 when used by a qualified professional. Here they are:

• A naysayer questioned why one would visit my office with a turtle lamp that lights.
• At a Catholic conference my work was called New Age Voodoo and was rejected.
• I was prevented from participating at my Catholic Church’s fundraiser.
• Critics said I was doing the work of the devil and that I would go to hell.
• I was called a “heretic” and was asked, “What kind of Catholic are you?”
• I was referred to as a charlatan after saying “Change can be easy” in my ad.
• Like a sorcerer’s apprentice, a little boy thought I would make him fly on a broom.
• A client clung to her purse so I would not steal it.
• Instead of teaching, a coach told me to go home and bake cookies for a fundraiser.

No cowering for me

Even though these barriers could have worked against me, when people told me I was crazy, I did not cower in the corner away from my business start up. Instead, I became more motivated to achieve my goals of helping kids achieve success. Regardless of what people said about me or my work, I moved forward with my own plans of action and hung out my office shingle as an independent peak performance coach, a novel and bold approach for an RN in 1996. However, I had another obstacle to overcome.

During dance practice, after having an allergic reaction to the ingestion of ginseng tea I drank for energy, I slipped into a coma from anaphylactic shock and had a Near-Death Experience. It occurred at the “In the Spotlight” dance academy, and I was revived by my dance instructor. During this time, I was given a chance by Angels to live or die, and I chose to return there after seeing the faces of my four children and husband before me, begging for my return. Flat on my back, I opened my eyes to see young ballerinas in leotards and dance shoes staring down at me, and I knew I had made the right decision to start my business.

The fruits of my labor

Twenty-nine years later, I see the fruits of my hard work at The Summit Center for Ideal Performance where I have worked as a peak performance coach with hundreds of clients from the nursery school to the nursing home to aid them in reaching their best performances in areas of health, academics, athletics, business, and performing arts. My personal and professional case stories are included in my book: Wrestling Through Adversity: Empowering Children, Teens, & Young Adults to Win in Life. Seventeen years after sitting in the town meeting, while being insulted by the board member who called me a “tea-leaf reader” when I attempted to rent an office, I became a real estate agent and purchased an office of my own. (See the picture below).

What is the startup lesson you can learn from me?

Beyond being a mom, the most rewarding years of my life have been the time I have spent being a small business owner while assisting my clients to win in life. I share here the hard- won lessons I have learned as a peak performance coach and the Mindful Toughness ® skillsets, such as Self-Hypnosis, Breathing Easy, Mental Rehearsal, Mental Recall, Positive Self-Talk, and Feedback Loop Analysis, I included in my book and teach, so you can be a winner when you:

• “Get in the Zone” to hit a home run, like a baseball player in the batter’s box.
• Use breathing techniques to relax the mind, body, and spirit to focus and score.
• Visualize yourself as a business owner selling your products, services, or wares.
• Think and grow rich by canceling negative thoughts and substituting positive ones.
• Mentally recall a past winning experience you had to bring it to the present time.
• Put your performance on a feedback loop to see what works and what does not.
• Make fine-tune changes objectively to improve your performance.
• Become your own best friend that builds confidence and self-belief as an owner.
• Love yourself unconditionally and see mistakes as opportunities to grow.

You can learn more about my peak performance coaching practice on my website, https://www.idealperformance.net and about my book: Wrestling Through Adversity: Empowering Children, Teens, & Young Adults To Win In Life, on https://www.drchristinesilverstein.com.

The book is available on Amazon in paperback, Kindle and Audiobook. It contains other case stories of interest from my practice and details on how to use Mindful Toughness® skillsets to improve your performance and meet your goals.

I invite you to follow me on my Facebook page, The Summit Center for Ideal Performance and subscribe to my educational YouTube channel, The Young Navigator, to meet me face-to-face.