Adapted from Wrestling Through Adversity: Empowering Children, Teens, &
Young Adults to Win in Life
We all have memories from the past. Some are pleasant, like going to Jones Beach on Long Island with my parents on a hot summer’s day to cool off and have fun. When I reminisce about these foregone days of my youth, it brings a smile to my face and makes me happy, but then there are Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) that are traumas that I had to endure to thrive, as everyone has on various levels and for different reasons.
Such childhood traumas in my life were pushed down deep into my unconscious mind because of the pain they caused me and because I was too immature to handle them at the time. As a consequence, these unresolved ACEs caused them to resurface from my inner depths, like driftwood, particularly when stressed out, and still do at times, causing high anxiety all over again spontaneously. However, fortunately for me, my dental wounds no longer feel raw, thanks to the power of my mind, because I wrestled through these adversities and learned skill sets to help me.
My Past Lived Experience
My challenges began for me at the age of eight when it was routine practice for me to go to dental appointments alone after school. I was very brave to do so. One time the dental assistant called me into the dentist’s private office, closed the door behind me, and said that my mother, who waitressed at a local luncheonette to make ends meet for her five children, did not pay the bill and that I was not to return until she did.
I was petrified of the dentist and what he would do, and the Tooth Fairy never came to help me.
I feared that the dentist would drill my teeth and pull them out, and it would hurt. He did both and was not very good at it, which resulted in the need for traumatic dental procedures at age 17. Since I was a minor and a student nurse in Brooklyn, which was some distance from my home in Queens, I traveled on the subway for my appointments that I attended alone. I was not included in the long-term plan of action of how to proceed, either with numerous root canals of my molars or extractions. My parents chose the latter, which was decided solely based on the ability to pay for the cheapest option, for there were no dental insurance plans.
Afterwards, this deep-rooted dental trauma affected me adversely for years, and I did not know what to do, but it has been uprooted. Some time later, my childhood dentist came to the local hospital where I worked as a young fledgling RN. He was in pain from kidney stones. I do not recall whether I took my revenge out on his buttocks with a forceful, hard jab when I administered his intramuscular injection, adding to his pain, although it crossed my mind.
A positive benefit that resulted from my early dental trauma was that I learned to numb the pain and to grit my teeth to accomplish my goals as an adult while at the dentist’s office. On one occasion during a dental procedure, I went into the “Zone,” like a baseball player at-bat, when the dentist capped the amount of anesthesia he could administer because of my small frame, so he told me to brace myself. During this time, I imagined that I was on the graduation stage at Columbia University and was receiving my doctorate. I felt no discomfort then, and four years later I realized my dream of earning my doctoral degree there, which was one of the happiest days of my life.
My Present Lived Experience
The need for scheduling a dental appointment came about from a tooth sensitivity that occurred on Thanksgiving Day, which was both a sad and joyous occasion in that my sister had passed away two weeks prior but my 4-month-old grandson was to celebrate with us for the first time.
I no sooner sat down to join my guests at the feast and to taste the food I prepared, when I bit into a piece of turkey and felt a sharp pain that radiated from my front tooth to my upper right molars. When the discomfort persisted, I called the dentist to have the tooth evaluated.
Upon my arrival at the dental office, an assistant to the root canal expert, Dr. B, greeted me and took me to the dental chair. She then made an off-hand comment about my stature in that I was so “small” and the chair was so ”big” that I would get lost when sitting in it. I told her that I prefer to be called “petite,” but she reiterated that I was much smaller than she was.
Dr. B set out to understand the root of my problem by asking relevant questions. He called in for consultation with my primary dentist, Dr. P, to discuss my case. Upon reviewing my x-ray, he said he saw that Tooth #7 was the culprit, but Dr. B thought it was Tooth #8. To prove Dr. B’s point, he took a small “dental hammer” that felt like a much larger one and tapped on each upper front tooth. When he got to Tooth #8, I screamed loudly: “Ouch! The tooth throbbed after this, but I alleviated it by using a hypnotherapeutic intervention in my mind called “glove anesthesia.”
We completed the consultation with the dentists, and it was concluded that a root canal was the only option to alleviate pain and to maintain my crown that is in good condition. To allay my fears, Dr. B told me that he would drill a small hole in the back of my crown and would remove the dead nerve, adding that I had done well on three previous root canals two years prior, so it would be easy. I made an appointment for six days before Christmas to have the root canal.
Reflection: Looking Back to the Future of My Dental Health
While driving home, I was tearful and did not know why, so I began to search for the “root cause.” I thought of how the dental assistant’s unwitting comment about my size that likened me to that of a small child sitting in a big chair brought me back to my early dental trauma, where I felt defenseless and scared when the dentist drilled my teeth and pulled them out.
Dr. B’s final comment about the success of the previous root canals during bridge replacement was supportive of my goal. It is true that I made it through them with aplomb, especially with the third one on my wisdom tooth, which he warned me beforehand would be particularly challenging for him and for me because of the awkward position of the back tooth.
What the dentist does not recall, however, is that a major reason why I was successful is not only from his expertise in managing my comfort level, but that I used, as a peak performance coach and clinical hypnosis expert, Self-Hypnosis and Mindful Toughness ®skill sets that I teach my clients in my program, “Operation Heal” to get in the Zone while he was doing the procedure in which I wrote, in my mind’s eye, the outline for Chapter 9 of my book: Wrestling Through Adversity, which is titled, “Accessing Inner Healing Power through Music.”
Upon reflection I recall that Dr. B was surprised about the ease I seemed to have while he was working with me on root canals, and he asked me how I did it. I told him that I used Self-Hypnosis. He then revealed that his patients usually have great fears just with the mention of the procedure, so he attempts to comfort them with meds. However, he confided that when this does not work, he does not know what to do, which is his nemesis.
Tooth Fairy Wisdom
What can be learned from the Tooth Fairy?
- It is beyond the scope of practice for caring and competent dentists, like mine, to know exactly how to work with your deep emotional issues relating to past dental traumas.
- Therefore, as adults, work on your early dental traumas on your own or ask a professional coach who teaches Self-Hypnosis, like me, to assist you before you empathically transmit your fears to your children.
- Learn how to manage your fears by using the power of your mind with skill sets that not only relate to your teeth but are portable for any procedure or task, like winning a championship.
- Teach your children how to help themselves at dental visits.
- As primary prevention that promotes healthy teeth in the future, set up your children with a pediatric dentist who understands how to work with kids.
- If the cost of family dental care is prohibitive and outside your budget, seek out lower-cost university dental programs that provide supervised residents and interns to give care.
My Christmas Wish:
As for me, I am already mentally rehearsing for my upcoming root canal for all I want for Christmas, both literally and figuratively, are my two front teeth (specifically #7 & #8) and my beautiful smile. So, I am setting myself up with the Mind Power to succeed in comfort to accomplish my goals, by asking: What project will I imagine completing while in the dental chair this time?
If you would like to learn more about these Mindful Toughness ® skill sets, check out my websites at: idealperformance.net and drchristinesilverstein.com, as well as my YouTube channel, The Young Navigator.